SUPER MARIO MAKER: One word review – Humbling
I’m no novice to Mario platformers. In fact I’m a freaking seasoned veteran of Mr. Super Mario and his shadowed brother Linguini. When I was… 5 (?) years old I wasn’t even fully aware of what a Nintendo was, let alone lobbying to get one for my birthday or Christmas. So when my Grandma bought one for us out of the blue I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. One of my earliest childhood memories was of that night. My parents set up the NES to our old even-for-its-time tube television and we played Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt all damn night. 
Fast forward 28 years and I’ve played through every Mario platformer that Nintendo produced. So when I sat there and watched the 2015 Nintendo World Championships live on Twitch and Super Mario Maker was the Grand Finals, I was in nerd heaven. Not only was it awesome to see the new play mechanics introduced into the old classics (SM1, SM2, SM3, SMW and others) but it was hilarious to see all of the sadistic things that were in store both playing other people’s levels and what would come from my own twisted brain. At some point after that event, Nintendo revealed that certain Best Buy locations throughout the country would be hosting a preview event for Super Mario Maker on Wednesday and Saturday and anyone could have a go. That’s all the invitation I needed. I drove about an hour to the closest hosting Best Buy in Irving, TX and got there about an hour early. By that time there were a dozen people in line ahead of me. The regional Nintendo reps had already been there for a while and had everything set up and ready to go including a table with a bunch of Nintendo promo stuff like posters and download codes for new games that were out. I gotta say, the atmosphere was pretty awesome. Everyone was excited to get their hands on Super Mario Maker, we all had our 3DS’ with us and we’re Streetpassing each other and the Nintendo reps had a playlist of old and new tracks from Super Mario games playing over a speaker at their table. The people directly ahead of me in line were super friendly and not overly crazy like some people in the gaming community (you know who you are.) Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not bagging on anyone or their passion for games. I’m the blackest damn pot to ever call the kettle black but I know where that line is and I try not to cross it too often. There are a lot of people who have Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall homes on the extreme side of that line and even made up a fifth season so that they could stay there longer. All us nerds live around that line to varying degrees and that’s perfectly okay. We are a tolerant bunch and we have to stick together. ANYWAY, I was lucky enough to be able to chat with some “normies” for the hour wait and it’s always awesome to find out what kinds of games people like. We got to talking about Super Smash Bros. Wii U and the new characters coming out. I was lamenting about my hope that Nintendo brings back Geno from Super Mario RPG (SNES) and saying how sad I was that a badass character like that hasn’t made it to anything else in his existence. The normies didn’t know who he was but their 10 year old daughter did since she was playing through that game on the Wii U virtual console now. I gotta say, when someone that young knows some stuff like that, that gets you some serious nerd cred in my book. For some reason in this land of big screen TVs, Best Buy didn’t have the Wii U hooked up to anything that the crowd could see. It was just the Wii U end-cap kiosk that everyone was playing on. Fine by me, less people to see 
me die over and over again. Once I was in view of the screen, I watched over and over again as people would choose their level and do some crazy jumps, die in crazy ways, and face enemies that were nowhere else in any Mario platformer.
Finally I was up. I wanted to choose something difficult. I’m a freaking veteran. I wanted a challenge. I got this!! So I picked one that was called Twirling Lavapit or something to that effect. Right away I knew I was in trouble and I was all too aware that I had an audience.
It started like any -4 castle in SMB1 where I was standing on a platform of bricks. There was an immediate gap that had a moving platform on the other side. I had to wait for the ~ 100 twirling fire sticks to get out of my way first though. No problem, too anxious and jumped early. Died. Second attempt, made the jump. Fire sticks all around but just for show. Had to make a jump off the moving platform but the timing was precise. Jump too late the platform drops and you die. Jump too early you hit the fire sticks and you die. Nerves got to me for a bit so I died on the jump like 4 times in a row. 
Finally I made it past and on to the next jump down to a 1 block wide platform that housed a door. Landed on the platform no problem and went through the door. Falling. Why is there a Bob-omb falling next to me? Oh hey another 1 block wide platform with another door. I’ll just land here aaaaand… Bob-omb explodes and the platform explodes under my feet. I’m dead. You guys are assholes.
Back to the beginning. Made the jumps, back through the door, falling aaaand I push up to go through the door just as soon as possible and I’m through. I see Bowser’s bridge so I know what’s coming next. I make a couple jumps up to the platform and a giant buzzy beetle falls between me and a Bowser who is three times his normal size. Big beetle, big Koopa, big projectile to kick at big Koopa. So I did. And it bounced off of him. And hit me. And I’m dead again. I knew by this time that my 5 minutes were almost up so I decided to try to go to a platform I had seen earlier at the very beginning of the level that I thought might be a secret way to go. I would just have to use the whole beginning platform to make a running jump. I run to the left as far as I can go and get the best lead up I can to jump on top of the fire stick platform. So I run. And I jump. And I hit my head on an invisible block and fall into the lava and die. That shit is hilarious and you guys are still assholes. That was the end of my run and my whole experience with Super Mario Maker so the Nintendo rep gave me my commemorative Super Mario Bros. 30th Anniversary pin, I made the walk of shame to the Nintendo merch tables, got my stuff and drove home. It was a very exciting and foreboding taste of things to come. Super Mario Maker is an exercise in patience and in frustration but man is it awesome to see Nintendo officially embrace what the modding community has been doing for years. And to put the tools in the hands of anyone willing to try and share their creative and demonic level designs via the Miiverse is the icing on the cake. I’m a freaking veteran. I beat the Water Temple in OoT. Hell, I beat Mike Tyson. I’ve played through Super Mario Everything. And I got my ass freaking handed to me via Super Mario Bros. 1 in front of a crowd. That $*** was awesome.
